Transcript of President Trump’s Good Friday Corona-Rally. April 10, 2020.

I’d like to start by wishing everyone, especially the real Americans out there, a Good Friday, but I’ve decided we’re gonna call it Great Friday from now on, because things are really going great even though the lying press won’t tell you that. This is the time of year when we remember that Jesus was a man who was treated very unfairly, very roughly, by pilots, by seizures, by everybody really. He even had an advisor named Peter who was not so great which is something I know a little bit about, [turning to look at Peter Navarro]. But Jesus came back, just like we’re going to come back. It was unbelievable, many people are saying that one day that rock just [hand flourish] rolled away. It rolled [accordion hands] away. Just like we will roll back this virus and the evil Democrat shut down. Last night, in fact, Mike was telling me about how Easter is all about rebirth. Not many people know that. It’s like everyone in the world just gets a new line of credit, which believe me, is something I know a lot about, it feels really good like that Oprah meme where she gives everyone a new car, only it’s from God so it’s real and not socialist fake news. I was thinking about Easter this morning and how I stand up here and take questions from you nasty people, boom, boom, boom, it’s like nails you know, like nails, in my hands in my feet, like everywhere. But it’s ok because we’re coming back. The whole megillah, as my accountant would say, great guy by the way, and not just with the money though he’s really good with that too. After we finished talking about how great hydroxychloroquine stock is doing these days he said I remind of him of Pharaoh and I’m like ‘Farah Fawcett? Because of the hair?’ and he’s like, no ‘different Pharaoh, African guy, from Africa, who is getting noticed more and more these days.’ Anyway, he said I’m doing great because there has been only a little bit of blood and no frogs yet. With Obama or Clinton there would have been so many frogs, just frogs everywhere. But we are doing very strongly with the frogs, right Mike? I was joking the other day with Don Jr. about the whole killing of the first born thing, not many people know about that. He’d never heard of it, but it’s something I’ve considered very strongly sometimes when I look at how much of my money he spends. I’m just kidding, he’s a great kid and businessman, making so much money in India and Turkey and China and all over the place really, you wouldn’t believe it.

The fake news won’t tell you this but things are looking up. Funeral directors and Catholic priests are calling me and saying ‘Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump, sir we have too much business, please make it stop.’ So we’re starting to win with religion AND the economy. Pretty soon the economy’s just going to start growing like rabbits, like the Easter bunny who, well I can’t say it on television but you know what rabbits do. There’s going to be so much rising soon that you won’t even believe it. Dow Jones, Nasdaq, S & P, just everything rising and rising, it’s gonna save your 401k, that’s for sure! That’s what Easter means to me, so much rising and rebirth…’fec-un-ditty,’ is that what you called it Fauci? Smart guy, that Tony. But he’s too cautious about economy for my taste because he’s a [shoulder hunch and grimace] leetle too into saving lives if you ask me…saving saving saving that’s all he talks about, a little obsessive if you ask me…but we’ll see what happens, we’ll see.